Man it's cold out there, like the friggin' North Pole. Ha, ha. I knew I shoulda stayed in Florida. Had a nice house in Naples, too. No air. Open to the breeze. Had big fans in every room. Man, you could smell the sea breeze even ten miles inland.
No, I shoulda stayed in Florida.
What's that? You like cold weather? Are you insane? Ha, ha. Just kidding man. Where you from anyway?
INDIA? It's hot there, isn't it? They got mountains? Really? It gets cold? I thought Africa was hot everywhere, either desert or jungle. Asia? Yeah, that's what I meant. Sure. Asia. Africa, Asia. . . Hey, what's the difference anyway, right?
Yeah, my kid, he's like Einstein on steroids. One uptight kid. A walking brain. I don't know where it comes from. I can't even understand him sometimes. I wouldn't know a calculus from my. . . well you know what I mean.
But I can hear that money talking to me, you know what I mean. Ha, ha. They wanna give him money I'm all for it. Ha, ha. I'm hoping he becomes a millionaire, take care of me in my old age.
What do you do anyway, for a living, I mean? You're what? A PASTOR? An Indian pastor? You got a church and all?
Ah, no man. No, I'm not the religious type. I'm just trying to keep it in the road, you know. Keeping it together. Ha, ha. You know what I mean? Nobody'd confuse me and Billy Graham, that's for sure. Ha, ha. I figure there's something to it, you know. Hey --- don't get all touchy-feely, none of that stuff. Don't go gettin' weird and all. Ha, ha.
Yeah, yeah, I see your point on that. He wants to be a missionary, huh? That's great. That's just great. No, I don't know what my son wants to do. I never asked him that. He don't talk to me much, really. Ah, teenagers, go figure. Ha, ha. Yeah, yeah, good idea, Maybe I will. Maybe I'll ask him. I'll say "look, kid, what's it gonna be, brain surgeon, rocket scientist, take your pick." I don't tell him what to do, you know. He'll figure it out.
Jeez. Look at this place. That guy musta given them a boatload of gold to build this.
Oh, hey. Here he comes. Looks beat up. Looks like a hound dog lost his bird. Ha, ha. Good talking with you man. Hey, you too. God bless you too.
[I'm waiting for my son while he's in an interview for a scholarship. I imagined this unlikely conversation. Pure fiction.]