Like many of the stories of Jesus in the Gospels, the feeding of the crowds with a few loaves and a few fishes, recounted in all four Gospels, is one we can grow indifferent too because of its familiarity. And yet as I was reflecting on the various “lacks” I felt in 2007 (while trying to remember to be thankful for the gifts), God opened my eyes to the purpose of our various poverties --- all our senses of what we lack.
Personally, I lack discipline to maintain regular times of prayer, Bible reading and study, and day by day obedient living. And that’s just for starters as to what I lack. I lack discipline in general, in terms of writing, in terms of consistent parenting, and physical exercise. I don’t seem to have what I need to get the job done. I’m struggling with a writing project, and have been all year, and I don’t know how to begin. It seems overwhelming. It’s easy to begin focusing on what I “can’t do.” But I’ll stop. The encouraging part is coming.
We are in a desolate place. The disciples asked Jesus “How can we feed these people with bread here in this desolate place?” That’s really our state. We are a people that are not who we were meant to be in a place that is not our home with a great lack in our lives, like the Israelites exiled to Babylon. So part of what I have to do is recognize my lack of all that I really need to get anything done.
We are not without Jesus. They may have had little, but the disciples had Jesus, and that was enough. That’s who they went to with their lack. That’s who they asked their questions to. So many times I can sit around in my lack and do not really carry it to Jesus, carry to Him even the question of “how do I begin” or “what can I do?” I’m ignoring the One who, as in the story’s desolate place, I can be sure will have a compassionate and able response.
We have something to give. Jesus said “How many loaves do you have?” And so He says to us, “What do you have?” That’s where we begin. We take what we have, and as pitiful as it may seem, we offer it up to God. Jesus does that in Matthew’s account, giving thanks for the few loaves and few fish, and then offering it to the people.
With Jesus, what we have is more than enough. Given to God, with thanks, the little that the disciples had was more than enough to meet the need. In fact, there were seven baskets of food left over after the multitude (over 5000) had had all they could eat. That should say to me that the little that I have is more than enough for any need set before me --- more than enough, that is, plus Jesus.
Another year is over, and as Paul says, the one thing we do is “forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead” (Phil. 3:14). The promise of the story is that if we admit our lack, if we offer up what we have, then with Jesus it will be more than enough. What He did through one small boy can also be done through us. Can you believe that?
[As you begin another year, this could be a year when you read the Bible. I lack the ability to do it. But my lack plus Jesus will suffice. The schedule provided here gives four daily readings. I’ve not used this approach before, but it is flexible and has forgiving aspects (like only giving readings for 25 days each month). Will you attempt it too?]
